Week 13 NFL Picks
I can not tell you how excited I am for this weeks games. The potential quarterback play for this week may be one of the worst ever and the best ever in the comedy department. Here are the names of quarterbacks who will or may potentially start this week…John Skeleton, T.J Yates, Jake Locker, Christian Ponder, Caleb Hanie, Dan Orlovsky, Rex Grossman, A.J. Feeley, Tim Tebow, Blaine Gabbert, and of course Mark Sanchez. You just look at some of those names and know that they will be faliures at quarterack. The names I am most interested in following this week are Caleb Hanie of the Bears and T.J. Yates of the Texans. They interest me the most because their backups are former Cardinal Josh McCown for the Bears and the immortal, one and only, Jake Delhomme for the Texans. I hope the trade deadline has not passed yet in your fantasy league because if you have any Texans or Bears on your team you better get rid of them now! We will now go onto the picks and I will try to prepare you as best I can for the comedy that we all should recieve from quarterbacks around the league.
New York Jets 20 at Washington Redskins 13
DId any quarterback ever have a worse game while still throwing for four touchdowns than Mark Sanchez did last week? For fantasy players in a Defensive player league should pick up a Washington Redskin player in the secondary and gamble on who Mark will be throwing his pick six too. On the other side of the ball is Rex Grossman, who can easily match Sanchez’s ineptitude. Comedy could be pretty decent in this one and I have the Jets pulling it out since they still have something to play for and are the most desperate team of the two.
Game of the week
Kansas City Chiefs 9 at Chicago bears 19
First half (before both starters get pulled) Tyler Palko vs Caleb Hanie. Second half (after both starters get pulled) Kyle Orton vs Josh McCown. In the words of Mike Myers from the movie “Cat in the Hat” “I am sooooooooooooooo excited!!!!!!”
Carolina Panthers 20 at Tampa Bay Buccanears 24
We finally have a game with a couple of coherent quarterbacks, which makes this kind of boring to talk about in the theme of this week. Josh Freeman has taken a major step back this year and is struggling mightily. Cam Newton is putting up sexy numbers but he is still low in the win column number. Tampa Bay is on the verge of mailing in this season, but they will pull out a win again sometime this year.
Toss up of the week
Tennessee Titans 16 at Buffalo Bills 27
Since the Bills gave my man Ryan Fitzpatrick his huge extension he has gone 1-4 and looked nothing like the Fitzpatrick at the beginning of this season. He may rival Kevin Kolb as the most overpaid player in football at the pace he is going at. This is a big game for Tennessee who can easily catch the Houston Delhomme’s in the AFC South, but this is Buffalo’s first true home game since the beginning of November and they will come out to play in front of the home fans.
Oakland Raiders 13 vs Miami Dolphins 17
A match-up featuring Carson Palmer and Matt Moore has some potential for ineptitude. Highly doubtful though considering how well both teams have been playing lately, especially the Dolphins. Dolphins pull it out against the west coast team traveling to the east coast and playing the early game team.
Cincinnati Bengals 13 at Pittsburgh Steelers 28
The Steelers played as well as they needed to against the Chiefs to get the win. Coming home against the Bengals I am feeling a statement win is coming for the Steelers. Andy Dalton is still a rookie quarterback and this is DIck Lebeau’s second time game planning for him and this time he is at home. Steelers win big.
Atlanta Falcons 24 at Houston Texans 10
I will be watching this game intently on my computer for the possibility of a Jake Delhomme sighting. Trust me I will let you know on Twitter the second he gets in @jesanders11. Andre Johnson might be the first wide receiver to just flat-out walk off the field the first time Jake throws to the chest of the guy covering him. I would not blame him for a second. Houston Texans fans I truly am feeling for you guys right now. You guys deserve so much better than what is going on right now.
Denver Broncos 50 at Minnesota Vikings 0
Denver Broncos fans are the most easily offended fans in football right now. So, instead of saying like a normal person that TIm Tebow needs a reality check only to see him pull out another win out of his you know what, then every Bronco fan taking delight in showing how dumb you are picking games by picking against the team with a quarterback who can’t complete half his passes….I am just going to say Broncos blow out every team from now on since you know they are the greatest team in football with baby jesus leading them at quarterback. (For the record I love Tim Tebow….No hard feelings Tim.)
Lock of the century
Indianapolis Colts 0 vs New England Patriots 50
This is a serious score prediction by the way. With Dan Orlovsky starting this week…yes that same Dan Orlovsky who ran 5 yards out-of-bounds for a safety for the 0-16 Lions…I think makes him the worse quarterback of all time. He already played on a 0-16 team with the potential of another 0-16 team. That is not looking good on your resume Dan. The Patriots will pick the score of this game.
Baltimore Ravens 31 at Cleveland Browns 17
With the Steelers breathing down the Ravens backs this is a game they can not afford to blow. The browns are a tough team and if taken lightly can easily win this game.
Dallas Cowboys 20 at Arizona Cardinals 28
This is not a biased pick at all. This is the Cowboys 5th straight game against a team with a losing record with the Giants looming next week. This has all the makings of a let down game for them. The Cardinals have also been playing very well for the last month and get Kevin Kolb back at quarterback more than likely. The cardinals always play the Cowboys tough at home and it will be a playoff atmosphere crowd thanks to the Phoenix Cowboys fans who will be at the game. Cardinals always pull an upset at home which means they win this week or next week and I am betting they do it this week.
Green Bay Packers 35 at New York Giants 24
The Giants did not want to be playing football in New Orleans last Monday night. They got lucky with a couple of wins early in the season that they should not have won that is hiding the fact they are not really a good football team. The Packers continue the march towards an undefeated record.
St. Louis Rams 13 at San Fransisco 49ers 27
The 49ers showed last week that they wont be going far in the playoffs and there is no way they are beating Green Bay or New Orleans. That fact satisfies me enough to get me through this season with them clinching the division this week.
Sunday Night Football
Detroit Lions 28 at New Orleans Saints 38
The Saints can not be stopped in the Superdome and the Lions defense will not be the first to stop them in New Orleans this season.
Monday Night Football
San Diego Chargers 23 at Jacksonville Jaguars 10
The six game losing streak finally comes to an end for the Chargers on Monday Night Football. By the way who in their right minds thought it was a good idea putting Jacksonville on Monday Night twice in one season? Not to mention that we get St. Louis and Seattle next week. Flex scheduling needs to go to Monday night as well and those two games are perfect examples.
Last week: 11-4